Connect – Join – Include

Love Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) on Ted.com saying something like this…..

Hearts - 3-d Design by Katie Basford

What if the genius of creativity does not come from within the lone individual (as we are taught to believe)– what if it lives in the walls of our homes as the ancients believed, or comes from some unimaginable source in the universe. Catch the genius when it speaks to you.

Don’t be afraid.

Continue to show up.

I add this thought -  What if our  ‘genius’ of our creativity  lives inside the richness of our relationships, in our interconnectedness……..?

Don’t be afraid.

Continue to show up.

Connect – Join – Include.

Love and Fear – Light and Darkness

Three Loving Hearts© by Katie Basford

“If the world is to be healed through human efforts, I am convinced it will be by ordinary people whose love for this life is even greater than their fear.” ~ Joanna Macy

“Healing is not forcing the sun to shine, but letting go of that which blocks the light.”  ~ Stephen and Ondrea Levine

Via the Chopra Center

A Call to Fearlessness for Gentle Leaders

Found a fabulous interview with Margaret Wheatley this morning at Voice America Business. I transcribed the beginning of this inspirational and transformational conversation.

The interview begins with a discussion about the meaning of spiritual warriorship and fearlessness.

Fearlessness means not being afraid of who you are. Not being afraid of our own visions – our own goodness – our own capacities. Think about whether you see yourself as a spiritual warrior at these times.

If we think that everything can be fine again just as it was – then what we need to do is just fix or repair existing systems, fix public education systems, fix health care systems. What that implies is that these systems are basically okay. By that I mean, their basic assumptions, their ways of operation, their beliefs about people –all of those assumptions are fine and its just our task to repair them.

The reason I go to the spiritual warrior or pioneers is if you don’t think things are repairable and that these systems are in a state of necessary collapse – then the question becomes “What’s my work?” If I’m not going to go in there and fix things then what’s my work?

That’s where spiritual warriorship and fearlessness comes in. Because it’s a very difficult, lonely role. It means you are going to try and embody the future even as we live through this very difficult time.  You’re going to be a champion for human goodness. You’re going to be a champion for the human spirit knowing that work can be done in ways that inspire us and engage us.

But you’re going to be out of the mainstream and therefore it calls for a quality of fearlessness that has not been asked of us previously.

A V-8 Kind of Morning

Nothing to write about – or so I thought. That emptiness usually means that I’m oblivious to what’s  happening all around me. So, when I do take notice of what’s happening it’s a bit like that V-8 commercial – a smack on the forehead. Here’s what hit me first thing this morning – Angela. She’s a student in my speech class at the community college where I teach. About 20 minutes ago Angela submitted this piece for our class blog:

As the weeks go by, my fellow classmates seem to have become my friends and I see each person opening up to who they are. I see beautiful people with stories of pride, humor, sadness, joy, sickness, disappointment, likes and dislikes, their work, children and families and struggles. I am loving getting to know you all and know your stories. It has made me realize one thing, that even though we are all different in so many ways, we really aren’t that different after all. It is amazing how you can put so many different types of people in a speech class and end up feeling the close connection that I feel. I think it is because we have to let out guard down, trust people we don’t know and be vulnerable to them, and the result is being received by caring, compassionate people who encourage! I have grown in this class, it is a blessing to me. I have a saying that I try to live by it goes like this, “Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle”. I have kept that saying in my heart for many years because it is so true. All of you have been examples of this. See you next class.

Incredibly insightful you say – YES!….and  wrapped up in her gorgeous reflection are keys and clues to the power of our stories and the gift of relationships. Which leads me to my second V-8 smack on the forehead and a search for that conference handout buried in my to-do stack of stuff. The handout is titled “Toolbox for Change”. It’s the work of David Pitonak, a consultant, speaker and fabulous storyteller. The first two “tools” in David’s handout dovetail nicely with Angela’s insight.

Tool #1 – It’s all about Relationships.

Tool #2 – Wake up to the People Right Next to You.

And finally – a third V-8 smack ( I do have a dull headache now but with a smile) – To hear the stories, to be vulnerable, to build relationships and to wake up to the people next to us - you have to BE there – in the middle of things -  learning, working, and playing alongside one’s neighbors and friends.  It more than important to be together – it’s essential. It’s human.

A Response to Tools of Exclusion

Sisters Charlotte & Elise

From Dawn Brunkalla – Mom, advocate, student from Stark County Ohio

When my daughter Elise, a  youngster that has Down syndrome, walks the halls of her public school, I  believe that most people accept her for who she is and not see her as one of  those children that Stark MR/DD says is a threat to the public school  system.  People with  disabilities face a lifetime of discrimination  from the uneducated and uninformed…and I never thought that it would come from  an agency built on protecting her rights and dignity. If Stark MR/DD wants to  help students, they can support students with developmental disabilities in  the public schools in a multitude of ways.  However, arguing that  children are a threat to the public school system is hurtful, demeaning and  wrong.  This message furthers fosters anti-inclusion sentiment and it is misleading on many many levels.

Tools of Exclusion

Dawn Brunkalla sadly reports that, last night, in her Ohio County 53,492 people voted for a levy to keep two segregated MR/DD schools open- 67% to 33%. How? The MRDD industry tapped into every single remnant of the public’s assumptions, fears and outdated beliefs about people with labels of disability. This is a perfect case study of how segregated systems stay in business.  Read it word for word at Justice for All.

Dinner at Katie’s

Last weekend, Katie invited us over for dinner. I had suggested to Katie that we could just meet at our house (the farm) but she insisted saying “You guys never come to visit me at my place.”  So, we met for dinner at Katie’s. We brought the steaks and hamburgers – Katie, her fiance Carl and her friend Jennifer made everything else. Katie’s specialty is baked beans, Jennifer makes a delicious potato salad and Carl is the clean up man. Here are two photos of our evening. BTW- Katie moved into an apartment a little over two years ago.  The wedding is tentatively set for May 2010.

Carl and Katie

A Cautionary Tale

A recent post on Bridget’s Light blog brought back a flood of memories and a desire to share a cautionary tale.  I too have a daughter with Down syndrome – her name is Katie, and when she was young I also worked with her on skills and observed developmental milestones like a hawk or, to put it more accurately, like an Early Intervention Professional. When Katie was three, someone asked me – as they often did back then, “How old was Katie when she walked?” My answer astonished and frightened me. “She took 10 steps 9 out of 10 times when she was 18 months old,” I said without missing a beat. At the very moment when those words escaped my mouth I drew in a quick breath as I realized my words were not “mother words” but “service provider words” -  “professional words.”  Somehow, I had become Katie’s service provider and she had become my client!! I had been sucked into the service system without even knowing it. That moment, now burned into my memory like a bad dream became a turning point for me to consciously and ever so carefully move myself back into the role of mom – and begin to adjust my thinking so I could see Katie perfectly as my daughter and not as my client in need of repair.

The nature of the service system and viewpoints about people with labels of disabilities constantly push or pull us into this client/provider – fixer of deficits direction. Soon, we begin to use the language of the system. The words we use begin to shape what we see, what we live now and in the future.   As someone once said, “Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.” And, that in turn effect what we see, what we observe. Disability professional-like observations and reporting – by the very nature of services and funding streams are based in a rehabilitation view that focuses on individual functioning (isolated) rather than interactions with others (relationships); it tends to be in professional language rather than ordinary words; and is usually NOT the language mom’s use when talking our ‘typical’ sons and daughters.

Sometimes we parents have to learn the language of the system so we can be accepted as credible advocates. But,  beware of the consequences of being co-opted by the language and practices of disability systems and services.

Building a Symmetry and Structure that Holds

On the Art of Hosting listserve, Toke Paludan Moeller introduced this video as “a spider weaving a web of symmetry and structure that holds.”  The spider brings me back to Leah’s comment she made last night about the  “package that often keeps people connected to the segregated service so that more and more aspects of their lives revolve around segregated activities.”

Perhaps, from the  spider, we can learn the practice and patience of creating a web of symmetry and structures of social change and community building and enbolden people to live the possibilities and benefits of inclusion.

Sisters and Sunshine

Sisters and Sunshine